Kyle's 3rd Primary Childrens appt

Mr. KY had his 3rd appt on 1-9-15. He now weighs 10 lbs 7 oz! He's gaining weight which is great! He also had an echo cardio gram & that showed that not much had changed from last month. Some more restricting but that's to be expexted. So we're still waiting for the big OHS date.

You're never given more than you can handle?

I can't help but repeat this in my mind.. you're never given more than you can handle.
Seriously? Is that true?
-I've had many trials in my life. Some of them are clear & some of them only I know about.
-all I had ever dreamt of as a child was having a big family & driving a mini van. I have always loved kids. I clearly remember my aunts laughing that I was going to be the mini van mom. But, I have a tahoe! Close enough. Lol.
-my oldest son Daymon faces challenges every. Single. Day.. I wish so bad that I could see things from his point of view, see what triggers him, see first hand of how challenging day to day is for him. Maybe then I'd be able to help him even more. Better yet, figure it out the first time.
The therapist told me that I need to grieve..
For the loss of my dad but also the loss of my childhood dream. I have beat myself up over & over & over. What could I have done different? Better? Try harder...?
Grieve that this is LIFE! sometimes, when you have a dream so strong, & it happens but also comes with a lot of different challenges, paths, & obstacles that I never knew existed as a child, grieving will allow me to accept, move on & quit punishing myself for something that is out of my control.
I love Daymon with everything I have. Every piece of me loves that kid. That is why I have to do what is right for him & for myself. To be able to stand by him for the rest of our lives & guide him, give him reassurance that each day is a new day. That he will ALWAYS have someone to turn to. To be there for him.
It's harder than people imagine. I used to be "that mom" in the store. The one that thought someone had horrible parenting skills. I used to think, "id whoop that kids ass if they were mine", or, my kid will never act like that. Well, I'm THAT MOM!  & please,  don't be so quick to judge. You have no idea what people are going through! There's days I leave my house and I know I look like hell. But, that's the best I could do for that day.
♡

Kyle Jack

Kyle had an appt today (12-24-14) to see why he was so fussy. The doctor just did to increase his reflux medicine. He weighs 9 lbs 14 Oz!

Family pictures :)

We sure do have a beautiful family!!!

Dec. 2014

Derrick loves to give Kyle kisses. I love this picture. MKyle  boys are so great! 

^Daymon is almost 7! I can't believe it! He's such a handsome young man. His love for dinosaurs is amazing. He has studied them a ton and can tell you which ones are plant or meat eaters, How many plates/spikes they have on their backs, and which ones were toughest. He loves the Utahraptor.

Chucky is now 4! He's always been a strong little man. He faced a hard life in the first few weeks he was on this earth and he has showed great improvements all the time. 

He loves his dog snoopy, his dad is his ultimate best friend. Lego Duplo are the next best thing & he makes awesome things out of all his play dough! ♡

Derrick is my softie. Our bond is just amazing. I don't know if it's because he's my first baby that I co-slept with, breastfed the longest or if it's because he has the cutest 1year old personality ever. He's a wild child! But is just so dang adorable! He loves his momma, and gives me kisses on each cheek, forehead then my lips. His laugh is so contagious & We love to have laughing contests to see who can laugh the loudest. Bath time is one of his favorites!

---》Kyle Jack Leavitt 《---

Strength, courage, faith, hope, love..

This little man has taught me so much. He has given me hope when I thought things were worse than ever. Strength to roll with the punches. If he can fight such a big battle in a.little tiny body, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get him better. I have loved him since I first read the positive pregnancy test. Every ultrasound my heart would melt seeing him. He is such a huge blessing to our family! 

♡♡♡♡

I need to catch up!

Well there have been some sleepless nights around here. Apria  Healthcare came to pick up Kyle's oxygen and took his apnea monitor too.. The doctor didn't write for it to stay so they said that it had to go with the oxygen or insurance wouldn't cover it. So I have felt empty without it. I'm going to look into another monitor I can purchase.

^^Snoopy & Charles are best friends^^

These two are so cute together.

Kyle had to get his 2nd synigis shot on 12/16/14. I was happy to see that he's still gaining weight good! He was not happy about the scale.

If he thought the scale was bad, the shot was much worse. I always feel so dang bad. :( breaks my heart to hold him while they give it to him and watch him cry. 

As sad as it is, I know it's for the best and I'm very grateful he gets it. It will help him from getting RSV.

This is from booboo buddies. I was very excited when we got it in the mail. This will be something to keep forever. It will be his little buddy to take during surgeries, appointments, etc... 

This little monster keeps me on my toes! He is so much fun though! I can't ever get enough of that smile! I love to just laugh at him because he laughs back 10x louder. He makes every day better & has the cutest personality ever. He's a great big brother, too! We sure do love him! 

Echo & EKG

Mr. Kyle had an echo done on 12-12-14. After the echo was over Dr. Menon ordered an ekg. Kyle did good while they did both of them. Next time I'll be sure to take a bottle with me though to keep him calmer. It was so amazing to listen to his heart for awhile and be able to see it on the screen. He's our little miracle and I'm so proud of how strong his is.

We found out that Kyle's valves have restricted more since last month's echo. Which is to be expected from his heart condition. We first were told to expect surgery around April or May but now the cardiologist won't let him go past March.

^^ I LOVE BABY FEET! ^^

Kyle's first ekg. I felt so bad for the little man when they took all those stickys off. He was not happy with that nurse at all! :( 

Maternity pictures 2014